Year: 2015

Dichotomy of me

One tells me in stern confidence you are enough, looks in the mirror proudly and murmurs you are perfect just the way you are, she argues you are interesting, intelligent, with talent to burn and an abundance of creative of ideas. She adds aimed to be somebody, a stand out from the crowd. The other hesitant to speak, whispers you are not enough, overly emotional, weak, fearful and insecure, desperately cries seeking approval, begging for gold stars above her forehead. She is fragile and could collapse to pieces with looks of disapproval. Constantly on the borderline of narcissism and self-pity. One pulling me to reach to the limitless skies, the other wanting me to taste the dirt beneath my feet. One helps motivate and fuel my dreams and passions. The other keeps me questioning, doubting, in self reflection, always aiming at self improvement. Both torment me, either can destroy me in isolation from the other, together they make the dichotomy that is me. Somewhere in between lies sanity. Advertisements

Happy

In the steam that rises as I pour boiling water into my coffee cup, In my favorite song that for some reason always sounds better as I ride along in my car listening to the radio, In an unexpected smile from an unfamiliar face at the grocery store, In the satisfaction of completed tasks at the end of my work day, In the warmth of the sun as it touches my skin and wind that strokes the hair from my face as I walk to and from my car, As I cook chicken marsala and celebrate my risotto came out just right, In the amnesia induced my my favorites books, films, and t.v. shows, Those fleeing moments, barbecue with family on a warm night, sweaty beers dripping on the brass table, The discussions we have with our friends that challenge us to think differently and more deeply, In the embraces of those we love, a kiss good night, these moments that fill our hearts with joy, peace, feeling in that moment we are right where …

What do your favorite movies say about you? 8 Personality profiles based on the most popular film genres

What do your favorite movies say about you? I met a talented film maker during my teaching internship who posed a similar question. I ruminated on this thought on my drive home because it had not occurred to me that the films that entertain me could also reflect in part the way I think, dream, play and generally relate to others in my everyday life. But why would this be surprising? If the entertainment that we continually seek has recurrent themes and evokes specific experiences, it is also likely we are attracted to similar experiences in our daily lives. I have created, 8 personality profiles based on popular film genres lets see if your personality fits your preferred genre? All across America there are ticket stubs being printed, popcorn being buttered, and film du jour being watched.  In the U.S. and Canada alone 2014 saw 10.36 billion in revenue at the box office. Like me, some prefer the comfort of their own home but either way film sector along with  the entertainment industry as a whole  is estimated to earn over 679 billion U.S. dollars …

Morning Recluse

Morning recluse Jolt out of bed, with a new hope, possibilities then dread The day’s responsibilities run through my head. I say wait! The morning sun shines like a spot light through my kitchen window A stack of clean glimmering dishes on the kitchen sink, courtesy of my husband Wheezing sound of the tea kettle, warm sweet coffee and buttered toast served I look for a resting place on my couch; My cat looks for a resting place on my lap Outside, neighbor’s engine is starting, the sound  of car motors rushing then police sirens. I say wait! Journal in hand, book of the hour on the table, ukulele on stand by, mind is awake, inspiration alive The day will have to wait just a little longer

My Mother’s Love Letters

My mother is a woman of strong character, unyielding pride, and highly critical. She is not a woman who has historically said “I love you” or “te quiero.” But as a teenager even through our disagreements, even when she was infuriated she never refrained from offering me food and this is how I knew we would get past it.  Like many other Latina women, my mother’s cooking has become her main avenue of unconditional expressed care and affection. I now understand that a plate of warm quesadillas, was much more than that. As a Mexican woman it is no surprise my mother’s values are consistent with the Latino cultural values of “familismo” and “marianismo,” which emphasize family loyalty and self-sacrifice above all. My mother’s identity is made up of these two values, she makes it a goal to care for her family, her husband, children and grandchildren, to the extent of sacrificing comfort and personal preference. A prime example of this is cooking for everyone else while being the last to eat and still washing the dishes at …

Brand Boulevard

  On weekends my morning routine consists of a jog along my neighborhood and its surrounding cities.I am a frequenter of Brand Boulevard running along Mission Hills and San Fernando, often admiring the Spanish architecture as though I were in a museum. I pass by Brand Park (Memory Garden) and Andres Pico Adobe one of the oldest residences in the city of Los Angeles. I run further down still past Laurel Canyon, and I continue to admire the homes with their Spanish and Greek revival style influences. There is something that invites me to this boulevard time after time and just now I have started to understand the reasons why.   Brand offers a historical view of the great city of San Fernando. This boulevard has witnessed Spanish settlement with construction of near by Mission San Fernando Rey de España as early as 1797.  This humble town does not make a fuss of its amazing history but rather live out their histories daily grounded in Mexican-American tradition. I not only see what this city has been but I see what it has started to become. I see a city …